Star Wars is Not An Appropriate Movie for a Stark
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: [More Than She Seems] Loki comes back from a trip to Asgard to find Darcy isn't at home. When he does find her, he decides never to leave her home alone with Tony again. X-wings and space races are the result. Darcy/Loki


Stark Mansion was quiet at Loki approached the potentially intimidating structure where it stood on the edge of the island known as Manhattan. Even nearly a year and a half after his little mental break and attempted take over of Earth, it still felt strange to freely approach the building housing those who defeated him. In fact, unless he was with Darcy or his brother, Loki rarely ventured near the building. However, having returned last night from a two week venture to Asgard and finding no sign of his lovely girlfriend nor her appearing that morning, Loki didn't have much choice. If Darcy wasn't at her apartment, it was very likely she'd come to the Mansion to either visit the others or at her father's behest.

Her father. That was a particular bag of wet cats they were still contending with. The man himself was doing his best, despite all his social flaws (which were nearly identical to Darcy in many ways), to mend the gap between the two. Pepper's outing had helped begin the healing process, but it would be a long time coming before Darcy was actually comfortable with the insane genius.

Entering the Mansion through alternative means (because why use doors when you can phase through walls and startle people?), Loki paused in the entry to listen for the sounds of life anywhere in the house. The mansion itself is huge, meaning Loki's best actual bet of locating Darcy is by asking the others. A crash from the living room answers his question of where people are, leading the mischievous god towards the noise.

Stepping into the room, he's completely unsurprised to find Clint laying on the ground where he apparently fell when knocked from the couch. Likely by the very deadly ex-Russian assassin currently stretched across the seat with a book in her hands. It makes Loki smile a bit, the normalcy of it all. Or, well, normal by their standards. Which, admittedly, is not very normal. Anyone who counts god's, radio-actively created rage machines, and 70 year old super soldiers among their numbers can't exactly claim to be normal.

Shaking his head, Loki cleared his throat to make himself known. Clint glanced up from his place on the floor, offering the dark-haired god a half wave before leveraging himself back onto the couch beside where his Russian girlfriend's feet rest. "Hey Loki, what's up?"

"Has anyone seen Darcy?" queried Loki, attempting to keep his voice completely neutral. The look Clint gave him said he wasn't able to hide the worry in his voice though. Rolling his eyes a bit, Loki added: "I returned home last night and she was nowhere to be found, nor was she home this morning."

Smirk in place, Clint gestured with his head towards the hallway which led to the labs in the basement. "Check the labs. Her and Tony disappeared down there, what, like two weeks ago?" The archer glanced at Natasha as he spoke, looking silently for confirmation of his statement.

"A week and a half," corrected the Russian woman, though she never looked up from her book. They had an odd, almost telepathic, connection at times that tended to scare the others. Loki was only unphased because he was used to such things. Darcy and Dani could have entire conversations consisting of nothing more than vague hand gestures facial expressions. For hours. Literally, he had timed it once; they had held a silent argument about fuel injectors for nearly two hours.

Furrowing his brow a bit, Loki tried to think of what could keep Darcy in a room with her father for a week and a half straight. Nothing came to mind though, which bothered him more somehow. He really hoped there wasn't a dead body involved. With those two, he was just waiting for the day. Idly, he voiced his question, only half expecting an answer. Most of the team stayed well clear of the labs, and for good reason; Pepper and Loki were really the only two brave enough to venture down there. "What could they possibly be doing for a week and a half?"

"Nothing good," replied Steve as he stepped into the room. The super-soldier shook his head silently, brow furrowed a bit in concern and exasperation. "I heard shouting and cheering about an hour ago followed by an explosion."

Well, that couldn't be good. Not the explosion part, of course; that occurred to frequently to actually spark concern anymore. It was the shouting and cheering that concerned him. Though, at least that meant they were both still breathing and Darcy hadn't committed patricide.

"Thank you, Rogers," thanked Loki before he hurried towards the labs and ignored the snickering from Clint behind him. A snap of his fingers had a bucket of water pouring over the archer in seconds, turning the snickering into angry sputters. He didn't take the time to revel in satisfaction though; other things were weighing on his mind far more.

Worriedly, he nearly ran down the stairs to the labs, checking the hallway for signs of debris or bodies. The glass-lined corridor was as immaculate as ever though, which was a good sign. Even with reinforcement, Tony and Darcy had still managed to break the glass dividers for the workshops multiple times. If the glass was intact, the explosion probably wasn't deadly. 

Carefully phasing though the doors to the only lit workspace, the one Tony and Darcy shared for large-scale construction projects, Loki peered around in search of his girlfriend. As usual, the workshop was a chaotic space consisting of tables covered in tools, hovering blueprint projections, sheets of metal, welding torches, and a variety of other pieces of equipment. It's borderline scary for anyone who isn't one of the two geniuses. Even Dani complained about the space, and she never complains after the workshop in the scrap yard.

A scan of the various projects turns up no sign of either genius, further raising Loki's concerns. Their bodies aren't scattered on the floor though and there's no signs of a major explosion. At times, the good captain can mistaken a back-firing engine as an explosion, meaning Loki always took his descriptions with a grain of salt. Darcy had explained once it was some kind of left over psychological trauma that caused him to believe every sound that even remotely resembled an explosion was one. Loki had actually seen him take cover once because of a blender.

Without any sign of an explosion or either genius, Loki resigned himself to calling for Darcy as if she were some lost animal. "Darcy?"

"Back here!" Her call came from the back of the lab, leading Loki to step further into the space. Carefully maneuvering passed two incomplete cars missing their engines, several partially dismantled jet planes, and the crumpled form of what looked like a giant robot, Loki found himself face to face with what had to be the most recent project to grip Darcy.

A very strangely shaped plane rested near the back wall. Though the body was plane-like, the wings were far thinner and flatter than anything Loki had seen in use. Furthermore, there appeared to be a seam that cut down the middle of the wings horizontally. The engines were also mounted beside the body where the wings connected and some kind of antenna- shaped objects tipped the wings. The nose was significantly longer than the nose on any other plane Loki had ever seen as well.

Raising an eyebrow, Loki repeated his earlier call/question. "Darcy?"

The brunettes head popped up from the back of the odd plane, a grin breaking across her face as she spotted him. One hand came up to wave, though she clearly didn't intend to move from her spot yet. "Loki, your back! Sweet! Can you bring me the hammer on your way up?" She didn't wait for a response to her request of course, just disappeared half way back into the monstrosity she was constructing.

Chuckling slightly at the request; only Darcy would wave and ask for a hammer after not seeing her lover for two weeks. Regardless, he grabbed the aforementioned tool and carefully approached the plane with the same ill-ease he might show an unknown beast. It was one of Darcy's creations and he trusted her completely, but the things she built had a 30-50 percent chance of blowing up if they hadn't been tested first.

"Darcy, what is this thing?" questioned Loki as he reached the base of the machine, eyes scanning the structure. It looked oddly familiar this close up.

"X-wing," replied Darcy, her voice echoing from the inside of the craft. "Like from Star Wars, remember? Tony and I are gonna have a space race."

Loki remembered Star Wars all too well. Darcy had only made him watch it a few hundred times. His bigger concern was what she was planning to do with a life-sized, working (in theory) x-wing. "You are going to have a what?"

"Y'know, a race in space," clarified Darcy, finally lifting her head out of what Loki guessed was an engine block. "That's what they call it, I think. It's what we call it at least."

Pinching the bridge of his nose a bit, Loki accepted the insanity for what it is. And reminded himself that the next time he went anywhere for longer than two days, Darcy was coming with him. "Darcy, why are you attempting to build and race an imaginary space craft from a movie we watched when we were in high school?"

"Hey, /I/ was the one in high school," objected Darcy. Now that her head was no longer in the engine, Loki could see that her eyes were glassy and she was blinking more than normal. "Well, and Dani. You were just pretending you had to be there."

Sighing, Loki dropped his hand to stare in exasperation up at his lover. "Darcy, dear, when did you last sleep?"

Darcy opened her mouth to speak but froze instead, brow furrowed. For a moment, she looked like she was seriously considering the answer to the question, which was never good. Finally, she asked one of Loki's least favorite questions coming from her. "What day is it?

"Monday," replied Loki, one of his eyebrows raising into the 'really, Darcy? Really?' position. It was automatic at this point.

"Like, slept in a bed slept?" continued Darcy, brow still furrowed.

"Yes."

Scratching her head a bit, Darcy hummed slightly as she wracked her memory. Which was always a bad sign in these cases. "Um, maybe the night before you left?" She gave him a bit of a sheepish look, clearly realizing how bad that sounded. Or realizing there was a good chance he was going to tie her to her bed until she slept properly. The expected justification quickly followed. "Tony and I have been kinda busy. This wouldn't have taken so long but I had to convince Dani to help us design an entirely new fuel source and Tony spent two days arguing about it with me before I even talked to her."

Shaking his head a bit, Loki carefully levitated himself up so he was at least on level with where Darcy was sitting. "How did you convince him?

"I didn't," replied Darcy with a shrug. "Five explosions and an angry Pepper did. That woman is scary."

"She is always intimidating for a mortal," countered Loki. He and Pepper, well certainly not close, had bonded a bit over their genius wrangling strategies. Of course, Pepper never became involved in the insanity that came with one of Tony's or Darcy's inventing flurries as he did, but they both had to at least maintain some control. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a building left standing.

"True," agreed Darcy, eyes dropping to Loki's hand only to furrow her brow in confusion. "Where's the screw driver you were bringing up?"

"You said you needed a hammer," countered Loki, one eyebrow raising in concern again.

Scratching her head a bit, Darcy's brow furrowed further. "I did?"

Sighing, Loki set the tool on the wing beside him and gave Darcy his best 'you will do what I say because you are too tired to make any decisions right now' look. "Darcy, you are not flying this...thing."

"Why!" exclaimed Darcy, a whine entering into her vice. She accompanied the complaint with a pout, giving Loki her best doe eyes. Which really didn't work well when she was majorly sleep deprived.

"Because the last time you mixed up your tools, your car exploded," countered Loki. He could name a lot more instances than that, but he wasn't convinced those were cases where exhaustion had any impact. Given Darcy and Dani had built a giant, working robot while drunk, it was hard to say how much exhaustion or any other form of mental impediment actually impacted the quality of their work. Mixing up tools was a good indicator though.

"That happened _once_," argued Darcy, "and I said it was my fault for playing with rocket fuel formulas."

"You aren't going to fly that thing until you've had at least eight hours of sleep, eaten a proper meal, and have looked it over after all of that," stated Loki. He was back, meaning whatever insane hiatus Tony had allowed her to take in her own personal care was over. She was going to eat, sleep, and at least partially act like a normal person so long as Loki was there to make sure it happened. He definitely wasn't leaving her alone for two weeks ever again.

Groaning, Darcy unfolded herself from her position and stretched her arms over her head. "When did you become so responsible?"

"Since we found out your father is an engineer with a tendency to blow things up," countered Loki, opening his arms for Darcy to crawl into so he could lift her down. "That includes himself."

Sighing in a put upon way, she reached out for his hands, letting him pull her from the surface of the x-wing and into his arms. "Fine. But you have to sleep with me. No wondering around while I'm forced to lay there staring at the ceiling."

"Fine," agreed Loki, chuckling a bit. They both knew she was going to crash as soon as she was laying down in a bed. "Speaking of sleep-deprived mad genius', where is your father?"

"He's passed out in the pilot's seat of his x-wing," replied Darcy, gesturing to another of the strangely shaped planes as Loki lowered them to the ground.

Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Loki realized he could just make out the flopped over form of the genius billionaire playboy across the top of the other x-wing. "And you didn't move him?"

"Why would I?" countered Darcy with a shrug. "He's the one who fell asleep up there."

Chuckling a bit, Loki shook his head as their feet touched the ground, keeping a firm hold on Darcy to make sure she wouldn't fall. "I will send Rogers to move him. You are coming home, now."

"But I'm almost done!" tried Darcy in one last ditch effort to get Loki to agree to let her stay. "I'll come home as soon as I get that torque wrench I need."

"It is a screw driver, Darcy," reminded Loki, shaking his head. "If I must tie you up, I shall."

"Kinky," replied Darcy, a dirty, flirtatious smile breaking across her face. "Do I need a safe word?"

"Tonight you may," replied Loki, shaking his head a bit. She would definitely pass out as soon as she was in bed. "But for now, all you need is sleep."

Sighing in resignation, Darcy nodded her assent. She always gave in eventually. "Alright, alright. But can I at least draw on Tony with a sharpie first?"

Nodding with a bit of a chuckle, Loki pulled a sharpie from mid-air and handed it to Darcy. "If you must."

Giddily, Darcy grabbed the sharpie and darted towards the other x-wing. Idly, he watched her climb the side and lean in to do whatever she was going to do; why she felt the need to draw on her father, Loki wasn't going to ask. Likely, it was some left-over game from before she knew he was related to her. The two genius' had a lot of those. She slid down five minutes later, humming in satisfaction while spinning the sharpie in her fingers.

Raising an eyebrow curiously, Loki offered her a devious smirk. "What did you do?"

"Left a message for Steve," replied Darcy, her smirk widening. "Make sure he's the one who gets Tony, by the way. It won't be funny if anyone else does it. Now let's go home. I've got plans for you before I crash."

"As do I," replied Loki, even though he knew she would likely be out before they even reached home. Gathering her into his arms, he led her up towards the stairs. A quick stop-off to find Rogers was in order before they could return home and then he was keeping Darcy at home with him for at least the next three days.

Steve sighed as he entered the lab, shaking his head at the chaotic arrangement. Darcy had insisted he needed to come move Tony from his current position passed out in what she called an 'x-wing'. The description she gave him was pretty good though, so he doubted it would be hard to find the contraption, whatever it was.

Reaching the back of the lab, he spotted the twin planes she'd mentioned immediately. Loki was right, they did look like weird jets. Grabbing a ladder, Steve hauled it over to the plane on the right and carefully climbed up it. Why he had to retrieve Tony, he wasn't sure. Darcy had said something about him being strongest next to Thor though, and he was still in Asgard for another day.

Climbing the last few steps, Steve reached the top of the ladder and leaned over to grab Tony. He froze part way through the motion though as he caught the black ink across Tony's bare chest. Then nearly fell off the ladder after he read it, blushing beat red.

Steve,  
Enjoy the company of passed out Tony. Just throw him across a table, he won't even feel it. Who knows, he might even enjoy it.

D

The next time Darcy sent him to retrieve Tony, Steve was sending Clint instead.


End file.
